May 2024

Web Submission:

Hey all,

I just wanted to reach out and thank you for your content surrounding domestic and emotional abuse. This is a different kind of thank-you than youโ€™re most likely used to and one that is difficult for me to say.

A few years ago, I was in an abusive marriage. We were both terrible for each other, and while we both did things that could be considered manipulative and emotionally harmful, I could be described as the abuser. Financial and emotional abuse, more specifically. I donโ€™t want to go into details, but I had the classic signs and was the living embodiment of a โ€œreal piece of work.โ€

She left me, as she should. I spiraled, drank too much, and generally became worse. I found a new friend, and she was really into your show. So, I gave it a listen. All of the episodes are great, but every time I got to an episode about abuse I just couldnโ€™t listen. I didnโ€™t realize I had been an abuser at the time, but something felt off. I felt a wracking sense of guilt with each of those episodes. And then it clicked. Iโ€™d always hated other abusers, but Iโ€™d always thought that abuse was just physical. It hadnโ€™t really resonated that you could abuse someone emotionally or financially. When those pieces slipped together, I broke. I understood, and I tried to make amends. Thereโ€™s no fixing the past, obviously, so I wrote my ex-wife a text apologizing for everything. Iโ€™ve been careful about my emotional connection with others, and Iโ€™ve avoided any impulses to try to keep others from leaving.

Your show typically preaches the need for people being abused to be aware of their situation. I think I learned the same thing but reversed. Itโ€™s a journey (and a lot of therapy) to get to the other side, and your team helped me start that healing process. I really wanted to just say thank you.

So, thank you.

Brandon